Marriage Equality
The Unacknowledged Victims of the Victims of Homophobia
Published September 14, 2009 @ 04:36AM PT
We know that gays and lesbians pay a huge price for being denied equal marriage rights, be it in the form of taxes and benefits, reinforced homophobia, or being told that we're less than straight people. But there's another group of folks who say they, too, pay a price for society not recognizing marriage equality, and they're the straight spouses of gay and lesbian people.
The what? Yup, the straight folks who fall in love with gays and lesbians that are in the closet, but feel the pressure from their communities, families, churches, etc. to be in a relationship and fall in love with someone from the opposite sex. These straight spouses say that if our country would just stand up and recognize same-sex marriage, it would save a lot of hurt on both sides of the Kinsey Scale.
Amity Pierce Buxton, the founder of the Straight Spouse Network, said that there are roughly two million gay men and lesbians who have been or are in heterosexual marriages. As Buxton tells the AP, a large reason why these marriages happen is because of same-sex marriage bans.
"We are the unacknowledged victims of the victims of homophobia," said Buxton. "When gays and lesbians feel they have to get married to be accepted and to have kids, that hurts not only gays and lesbians, but straight spouses and kids."
Point well taken. The AP article includes some stories from heterosexual spouses of gay men and lesbians. Even more interesting is the statistics that Buxton gives about the Straight Spouse Network. Of those that contact the group, about one-third immediately split from their partner, while one-third stay together for a few years, and another third resolve to make their marriages work.
Relationships are complicated things. Perhaps no one can attest to that more so than the straight spouses of gays and lesbians, as well as LGBT folks who feel pressured into straight marriage.
What's not complicated is that if we built the type of culture that championed equal rights and marriage equality, we would spare an awful lot of people -- including straight spouses -- a share of heartache.
Tom Ford Thinks Banning Gay Marriage is...
Published September 12, 2009 @ 12:15PM PT
Fashion designer turned film director Tom Ford has a few choice words for countries and states that decide to ban gay marriage. Or, rather, one choice word. Any guesses?
Take it away, Tom.
"It is, I have to say, quite disgusting that in America and in other countries you cannot have a civil union or something equivalent to marriage," says Ford.
Ford has a new movie coming out, "A Single Man," which delves into the storyline of a middle-aged gay man who loses his partner in a tragic accident, and is left wandering through life lonely, afraid, scared, and -- in many ways -- looking to reignite his spark. Though "A Single Man" itself is not bent on politics, it's not hard to see how this story lends itself to many of the arguments made by marriage equality activists. Ford himself drew these connections while speaking at the Venice Film Festival.
"I have someone I’ve lived together with for 23 years. Recently he was in hospital for something. I had to carry papers on me at all times that he had signed saying that I could visit him in his room and make medical decisions for him if anything happened. Our taxes, by the way: if I died tomorrow my estate would be completely taxed and then the remainder go to him whereas if we were a couple his life wouldn’t have to change and my entire estate would move to him," says Ford.
And those are just some of the 1,100 benefits not given to gay and lesbian couples, but that are given to heterosexual couples in marriage.
That, frankly, is disgusting. Not to mention unequal, unfair, and unjust.
"A Single Man," by the way, is winning rave reviews at the Venice Film Festival, with Colin Firth's performance as the middle-aged man who loses his lover receiving the best actor award. Check out a trailer for the film below.
Australia's Marriage Equality Commercial
Published September 11, 2009 @ 12:49PM PT
Ireland has a marriage equality commercial. Maine has several, too. Now Australia is seeing its first advertising campaign for marriage equality, featuring the mother of a gay son with a direct message for Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd: gay people are not second rate citizens.
The ad is being sponsored by Australia's chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, better known by their acronym PFLAG. In the ad, PFLAG mother Shelly Argent talks about her family -- two sons, one straight and one gay -- and how they both deserve to marry the person they fall in love with, regardless of gender.
This is one mom I don't think Kevin Rudd wants to mess with. Her moneylines in this are pretty great: "Mr. Rudd, show your leadership," or "My son is not a second rate citizen...or do you think he is?"
Better yet is the fact that Momma Argent drops the statistic that 60 percent of Australians support giving same-sex couples the same benefits as straight couples. That's a stark figure, and one that bodes well for the future of equality Down Under. Check out the ad below.
Five Reasons Why Same-Sex Marriage in D.C. Would Be Huge
Published September 11, 2009 @ 06:45AM PT
Washington, D.C.'s City Council is moving one step closer to making the District the next locale in the U.S. to recognize marriage equality. City Council member David Catania -- himself openly gay -- has a bill ready to be introduced, and he's saying that he's got 10 council members willing to sign on as co-sponsors. At that number, the bill has enough support to all but assure its passage.
The bill's language would be simple and clear in its support for marriage equality. The bill would provide for a law in D.C. that says "marriage is the legally recognized union of two people," and "any person who otherwise meets the eligibility requirements ... may marry any other eligible person regardless of gender."
Marriage in D.C. would be huge, and certainly add one more victory for LGBT rights in 2009. Here are our five reasons why it would be good news for gay rights if same-sex marriage becomes the law of the District.
1. The first marriage equality decision south of the Mason-Dixon. So far, six states (plus California for a brief period of time, before Prop 8) have enacted marriage equality. Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine. With the exception of Iowa, all of those states are in New England. So, having D.C. on board the marriage equality bus adds a little more regional diversity to this list of progressive states.
2. Impact on Maryland. There are certainly efforts in Maryland to push marriage equality forward. Their state's Attorney General is set to issue an opinion as to whether Maryland should recognize out-of-state gay marriages, and several prominent legislators have come out in favor of marriage equality. A victory in D.C. could spell a later victory in Maryland.
3. Hitting the opposition right in their seat. Earlier this year, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) moved their headquarters to D.C. in an effort to stop marriage equality in the District, and to be closer to Congress where, presumably, they hope to fight like hell against efforts to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act. Think of how disarming it will be to see a group so dedicated to discrimination be surrounded by equality?
4. It's bound to get Congress talking. Given that D.C. is the seat of the federal government, same-sex marriage in the District is bound to get all politicos talking. And that's a good thing. Maybe if a few timid legislators see that marriage equality has no impact (or, rather, positive impact) on families, kids or straight marriage, they might be a little more comfortable going back to their own districts and taking a stand on equal rights. Perhaps that's a bit of a pipe dream, but we've seen hearts and minds change on this issue before. There's no reason to think they won't change again.
5. The tune of $52.2 million. The Williams Institute at UCLA says that extending marriage equality benefits to same-sex couples in D.C. will inject more than $52 million into the District's economy -- generating increases in local government tax and fee revenues by $5.4 million and create approximately 700 new jobs. That's pretty damn massive, especially in the midst of a recession. The argument that gay marriage is good economic policy is a bit cynical, but in this case, it's hard to ignore how much money same-sex marriage could bring to the D.C. region.
Overwhelming Support for Repealing the Defense of Marriage Act
Published September 10, 2009 @ 10:48AM PT
The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is one of the worst, most discriminatory bills ever written into law. It's the thirteen-year-old gift that keeps on discriminating against gays and lesbians, denying millions of folks their right to Social Security survivors' benefits, equal treatment under U.S. immigration laws, the right to take leave to care for a spouse, and more. A time for a repeal of DOMA is now.
Efforts are underway in Congress to introduce a bill calling for a repeal of DOMA, with Rep. Jerry Nadler from New York taking the lead. Going hand-in-hand with the proposed legislation is an initiative from the Human Rights Campaign -- RepealDOMANow.org -- that hopes to mobilize tens of thousands of letters from folks urging their Congressional Reps to overturn DOMA. You can take action here to help make that happen.
"Thanks to a string of state-level victories, tens of thousands of loving, same-sex couples across the country have finally been able to join in marriage this year," HRC says on RepealDOMANow.org. "Yet because of DOMA, enacted in 1996, the federal government doesn't recognize a single one."
And they're right. No matter that marriage equality is the law in places like Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, Iowa, New Hampshire or Maine (ballot initiative pending). DOMA means that couples married in these states won't be recognized on the federal level, and won't have access to the more than 1,100 benefits that straight couples receive from the federal government.
That's unfair, unjust, and unconstitutional. Much like HRC's new Web site says, it's time to Repeal DOMA Now.
Standing on the Side of Love, Working for Marriage Equality
Published September 08, 2009 @ 06:03AM PT
Proving that love, tolerance, acceptance and equality don't have to be mutually exclusive from religion, the Unitarian Universalist Association has launched a brand-spanking new Web site meant to cull together religious voices working hard for equal rights and marriage equality. The site? It's aptly named "Standing on the Side of Love." SSL for short. And "sizzle" if you put those consonants together.
And sizzling is what this site is. In addition to being a prophetic voice for LGBT rights, the site also hopes to turn intentions into action by organizing Unitarian Universalists (and other progressive religious folk) to work for marriage equality on both a state-by-state and national level. According to SSL's director, Rev. Meg Riley, the site is meant to project the long-held principle that Unitarians share, which is a commitment to the inherent worth and dignity of all people.
"This is going to be a real grass-roots-oriented campaign. We will be resourcing congregations to take action. We will put much more energy into where there are local leaders whom we can support who will have the impact that’s needed," said Riley.
The idea for the site was actually born out of tragedy. Last year, a gunman opened fire in a Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville, Tennessee, during a performance of a children's musical. He killed two people, and injured six. The reason he decided to take a gun and shoot at random during a children's service? He didn't like the Unitarians progressive positions on issues like LGBT rights.
But instead of retreating or scaling back their support of LGBT rights (and other progressive causes, like immigrant rights and a national security policy rooted in peace), the Knoxville community banded together to reaffirm their support for marginalized people and groups. That reaffirmation resonated all the way up to the national office of the Unitarian Universalist Association, which culminated in the launch of the "Standing on the Side of Love" campaign.
The subtitle of the campaign is "harnessing love's power to stop oppression." Now there's something I think we all can agree on: the power of love to transform hearts and minds, and affect social change.
Taking the Catholic Church to Task in Maine for Anti-LGBT Fundraising
Published September 06, 2009 @ 08:27AM PT
Maine's Catholic Church is spiritually bankrupt. That seems to be the only conclusion reachable after the Diocese of Maine announced that next week, they will take up another "special collection" to help pass a ballot measure that will discriminate against gays and lesbians in Maine. Yup, more money coming from the Catholic Church to bash gays. And yet, the Catholic Church in Maine continues to shut down churches -- five of them, most recently -- because they can't financially support them.
The Bishop of Portland, Maine announced this week that he's encouraging all Catholic churches in Maine to hold a special collection for "Stand for Marriage Maine," the anti-LGBT organization seeking to pass a law this November that will openly discriminate against gay and lesbian Mainers and take away marriage equality rights. This collection should be illegal. There's no way the Catholic Church should be able to hold this kind of political collection, be able to give thousands upon thousands of dollars for an anti-LGBT organization, and not have to report who the donors are. It's an anonymous collection meant to shield the identity of haters, and it's bogus.
The Catholic Church in Maine is a tax-exempt institution. If it's going to take up special collections for ballot measures that discriminate and then not report who the donors are, the Church should, plain and simple, be stripped of its tax-exempt status. Because as Louise at Pam's House Blend notes, there's no way that the Catholic Church should be able to give non-traceable money to a political cause and NOT have it be called money laundering. It should be illegal.
This Church needs to get a clue. Isn't there that line from the Bible, "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Sounds like the Maine Catholic Church is doing a lot of persecuting lately of, fundraising to discriminate against gays and lesbians. Perhaps they ought to go back and read that book that supposedly forms the foundation of their faith.
Because right now, all I see when I look at the Maine Catholic Church is spiritual bankruptcy and hypocrisy. Closing churches because of a lack of money, while fundraising to steal rights away from gays and lesbians; looking to shield the identity of bigots; and calling gays and lesbians a threat to the public good. Talk about an unhealthy organization.
