President Obama is Not to Blame for Marriage Equality's Loss in Maine
Published November 04, 2009 @ 08:19AM PT
I knew this would happen: folks would blame President Obama for our loss in Maine last night. My response: it’s not his fault, it’s ours.
We were the people who came up with the commercials. We plotted the strategy. We met people on the ground, knocked on doors. So why, when we lose, do we blame someone who had nothing to do with our campaign?
If you’re angry that Obama didn’t support us, that’s one thing, but blaming him for our loss is another. That’s almost like saying then V.P. Al Gore would’ve won the 2000 presidential election had Ralph Nader not run; it just doesn’t make sense.
It’s time that the gay community started fighting the fight and not blaming others when we lose.
Garden State Equality’s decision to immediately run pro-marriage advertisements following the election of Republican Chris Christie is a great move. Get out first. Don’t wait and be reactive, on the defensive. Why should we be waiting until people challenge our rights in each state. Let’s get out there now and fight for our rights!
The best example I’ve seen of this is Californians Against Hate and its founder, Fred Karger. Karger, a former Republican political consultant, has taken the fight to the likes of the National Organization for Marriage, tirelessly fighting to have contributors to NOM’s campaigns revealed.
That is no easy task. Fred does his research, like trolling through campaign finance reports and finding out who donated to anti-marriage causes, then publicizing who they are and enacting boycotts of any companies involved. Fred fights anti-marriage folks with smart tactics and uses the media to his advantage: things we seem to be unable to do as a broader movement.
That is the stuff that we should be doing. Like Barney Frank said, a march on Washington won’t do much but staying home and lobbying individual members of Congress – a tactic used by the NRA – would have a lot more impact.
I’m sick and tired of losing these fights and I’m sick and tired of hearing the same reason for our losses: someone didn’t help us. Too bad President Obama wasn’t president last year, because then we could have blamed him for the passage of Proposition 8 in California.
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Comments (20)
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Alex Davidson is a newly-minted freelance writer. He previously worked for Forbes magazine and Dow Jones, where he regularly wrote for The Wall Street Journal. He is also the president of the New York Chapter of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association.
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I agree it is time people start getting off their ass everywhere. I have been busting ass writing letters to my congressmen and senators. I go to marches, rallies, trying to see where our state's LGBT priorities lie. However there is so few of us it sickens me. When I ask our people why have you not come to these events they simply shrug and say its not worth their time. Yes our people and ourselves are to blame... however when there is so few of us willing to sacrifice ourselves for our cause no amount of sacrifice we put in Mike can equal the social stagnation of this generation of americans.
Posted by Chris Marshall on 11/04/2009 @ 08:48AM PT
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Indeed and though I have no doubt that those of us who are fighting, are doing the right thing...
If what mr. marshall says is representative everywhere then I have to wonder if the majority of the g.l.b.t. community really do want equality...
Posted by Thomas McHugh on 11/04/2009 @ 03:34PM PT
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Thom, a big FYI, the majority of kids in my generation dont give a shit about voting, at least in my state. While that age groups supports gays it appears they are to fucking busy with their "lives" to get off their ass and vote.
For a person my age I am a freak. I am only twenty years old, get bitched out by everyone because I am "too political," and want to settle down with my love, Ruben, and start a life. Perhaps that is why I am libertarian. Oh and I do another "not cool" thing. I vote.
I cant stand my generation and their shit head attitudes. And if they actually got out and voted in Maine I am sure the polls would have been closer if not have overtaken the yes votes.
Posted by Chris Marshall on 11/04/2009 @ 08:38PM PT
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Thats a sad commentary on the kids of any generation mr. marshall...
Seems to me that theyre so comfortable in their percieved freedom that they dont understand just how easy it would be to lose them.
For the record mr. marshall...
I will and would continue fighting for equality simply because its the right thing to do BUT it would be much better and easier if everyone who wanted equality would stand beside me and the rest of us here.
Posted by Thomas McHugh on 11/18/2009 @ 03:20AM PT
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This is just... wrong. Unlike No on 8 in CA, the No on 1 campaign was by all reports very well run. One of the last pieces of the puzzle that needs to fall into place to win this is for elected leaders to step up and put their names on the line for this issue. Obama's on the wrong side of history here and as his supporters we should absolutely hold him accountable.
As for Californians against Hate? First of all, the name is terrible - congratulations, you've immediately repulsed a third of the people you're trying to convince. Second, they're pushing inside baseball stories that have little to no impact on voters - and if they do have an impact, if anything it's going to creep people out.
Ultimately we need to open more people's hearts. Spinning yarns about who is paying for what is not going to get that done.
Posted by Dan Ancona on 11/04/2009 @ 11:20AM PT
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It does not matter how many hearts we open people will not change unless forced too. I hope this makes gay rights activist realize that we have to stop fighting on a local and state level. That time has come and gone. The only way to get our rights and be treated as equal is if we take this fight to the USSC and only on a federal level. Tolerance only comes with incentive, acceptance only comes to forced arrangements that require each party to rely on one another for support.
Once we win out right to marriage on a federal level, these bigots will have to live with the fact that legally we are now equals and they will have to rely on us as much as they rely on themselves to further the progression of society.This is but a mere repeat of history. The federal courts forced people to accept integration, women's rights to vote and to choose what they can do with their reproductive organs, the banning of anti-miscegenation laws, the banning of sodomy laws, etc. All of which force people to rethink their anti-human stances and cast out their demons of tradition, religion, and bigotry for a new light of understanding. It is only when forced, or in times of absolute despotism when people really change for one another.
Posted by Chris Marshall on 11/04/2009 @ 11:40AM PT
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While it would be nice to magically have everyone agree with you the ends do not justify the means. Forcing people to do things against their will, even if it is a good thing, is wrong. Force is a strange thing, it works just as well against you as it does for you and can shift with little or no warning.
Chris we agree on the ends, just not the means. Force to impose your views on someone else is the starting point of so many evil things, I just can't believe that any good can come of it.
Posted by Seth Piepgrass on 11/04/2009 @ 05:46PM PT
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Seth,
So I guess the forced integration of Blacks into our armed services wasn't a good thing. Nor was it a good thing that the desegregation of our public schools. Nor was it a good thing to allow women the right to vote. Forcing states to accept interracial marriages weren't a good thing either.
That is exactly the same type of logic you are using. To me, these were and ARE all good things.
Posted by Dave Hershey on 11/04/2009 @ 06:25PM PT
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Dave you took the words out of my keyboard. LOL
Seth we LGBT have to start waking up. History is only going to repeat itself. We will never get more than 49% to support us ever, until they are forced to live with the fact that we have equal rights to them we will never succeed in changing peoples minds. It should be rights first then change minds later. It is far easier to change a persons mind when you are on equal playing fields then it is when that person has substantially more rights and citizenship to the country you share.
Posted by Chris Marshall on 11/04/2009 @ 08:30PM PT
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Actually, the No on 1 campaign was just as bad as the No on 8 one. They both tried to fight for gay marriage without ever actually using the words "gay" or "marriage". They both ignored the arguments set out by the opposition rather than refuting them. The ONLY group that has had any real effect on people has been the Courage Campaign and most of the mainstream advocates refuse to work with them.
In short, we were cowards. Once again we showed that we are still a bunch of scared little queers who are too busy trying to appease people to get anything done.
Posted by Tobias Fangor on 11/07/2009 @ 01:01AM PT
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Pretty much Toby. Pretty much. However with the economy being so bad as it is and Maine being an at will state, I am sure people are worried about being fired without any legal recourse because they are gay and decided to fight for their marriage rights.
The problem is, in this country we LGBT have to much to lose when we fight, than we do from the gain. It is because we can get fired, harassed, abused, slandered, black mailed, denied hospital visitations from our families, and murdered with out any legal recourse. The real problem is when people dont rock the boat the rancid cargo stays on board and continues to degrade the entire supply of produce.
So in reality its a lose-win situation. It requires sacrifce. When you show that sacrifice is require people often run the other way. Only a few are dedicated enough to put their lives on the line to fight for the liberation of their people. Even when those people show clear signs they dont care, or dont want it.
All i can say to LGBT today is that our King Jr, Harvey Milk is dead. It is time we stop waiting for another one before we take action. It is time we use Milks words and fight and sacrifice so that our people can finally be liberated from another oppression caused by religious zealotry.
Posted by Chris Marshall on 11/07/2009 @ 07:22PM PT
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I disagree with you mr. fangor on the No on 1 not having addressed the lies of the bible thumpers.
They did but unfortunatly fear tends to sell more easily than logic and truth.
Posted by Thomas McHugh on 11/18/2009 @ 03:23AM PT
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Maine, a supssosedly liberterian state in New England, failed to recognize the very important right of same-sex marriage. It was unfortunate that same-sex marriage was on a ballot in the first place, then to see intolerant conservatives abuse the meaning of love, is not good. Putting human rights on a ballot is always wrong, much like in the 19th century when states held referendums whether African Americans should have the right to vote, but the referendums failed them.
Posted by Edwin Bonilla on 11/04/2009 @ 11:36AM PT
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Just STFU! I'm sick of queens like you blaming the people who do everything they can and giving our "allies" who sit by quietly on the sidelines a free pass. It may not be his fault alone but the fact he couldn't even choke the word "marriage" out of his pandering mouth at the HRC dinner sure didn't do much to help.
Posted by Jesse Bannister on 11/04/2009 @ 02:22PM PT
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I like you Jesse. -hugs-
Anyone else starting to see the real politicians we unfortunately had to choose next to the Fundie Girl and Prune Drune.
Posted by Chris Marshall on 11/04/2009 @ 08:40PM PT
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Perspective ... all you young uns. Time gives us perspective, as does experience.
Being in CA this is so... painful, all over again. But here is why our opponents have slowly been building up a legal framework of APARTHEID, GAY APARTHEID. Look it up, study it, learn it. Because we must fight it just as the South African Blacks did.
Not my idea. This comes from DAVID MIXNER, talk about perspective and experience. Read his PART ONE Blog today.
http://tinyurl.com/yqzsv75 (yep I can type it, I have it memorized, as well as almost his whole column.)
He does acknowledge all of this years work..(reminding us that this is 30 years!!! of ballot box defeat however) and ends.
"My hats off to the brave people, gay and straight, of Maine and Washington who fought in the trenches. We all are so proud of you and to be part of your community. You have no idea how much we love you for your work, dignity and honor. However, it is no longer acceptable to be viewed as brave, patient warriors in defeat.
I don't want to be a brave warrior, I want to be a free one.
Enough!" I am with him. I will now study Apartheid, and being fighting by never giving another dime to a Dem Party or Candidate that is not fully supportive of ending this Apartheid.
Posted by Lee Dorsey on 11/04/2009 @ 05:33PM PT
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Also, even though I am very much invested in other CHANGE.org (note the hashtag is changedotorg, for those who tweet.) causes.
I will soon be weeding out all my supposed friends on CHANGE who do not also subscribe to full Equal Rights for Gays. Don't have the time for bigots, even if you do love animals,sorry.
Posted by Lee Dorsey on 11/04/2009 @ 05:36PM PT
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You go Dr. Dorsey. -hugs-
Posted by Chris Marshall on 11/04/2009 @ 08:43PM PT
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I went to Canada to get married in 2008 because I did not want to wait for a bunch of stupid men to decide my life and how it would unfold with my wife and me. I called people I knew in Maine to try and get them some help. The fight was a good one and it needs to be repeated in each state whether there is an issue up for a vote or not. This needs to be talked about everywhere the LGBT exists and it can no longer wait. It is not even about money or placing ads. it is about talking to people, writing oped pieces, going to arts exhibits with fliers and to movie theatres with fliers about bringing in great speakers on the topic at your schools and places of worship. it is about making a constant noise that will not die down.
It is also about accepting that we need to preserve the transgressive side of our beings. We are not like those who refer to themselves as hetero. We have more fun and do crazier things because we enjoy our sexuality and express it in ways that are just fun.
Finally we need to elect people who do represent us and our needs legally. Get members of your community to run for office and get them to speak openly of the issues that confront us.
There you have it. It is easy and yet it is work, lots of work, but if we do not do it, no one else will.
Posted by Deborah Emin on 11/05/2009 @ 07:27AM PT
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You hit the mark exactly Dave. Things that are considered wrong now were once accepted like slavery,Women not voting and racial discrimination. What is legal is not always right. It is against the law in California for any of us to get married but it is cruel to deny us the right.
Posted by Martin Martinez on 11/05/2009 @ 08:08AM PT
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